Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
