I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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