Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
