We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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