I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
