I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
