Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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