How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
