mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
