Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
