Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
