ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
