Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
