its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
