Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
