I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
