i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
