This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
