sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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