Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
