If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize