Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
