So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
