He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
