I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If that was your dad, he is hot
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
