She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
