my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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