today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's the barista slut.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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