So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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