I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
do herpes really smell.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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