I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
