Your face is a jimmy john
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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