Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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