That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
