which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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