Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
