the condom got lost in my hair
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
its liver damage thursday
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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