Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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