Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
