she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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