Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
