It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
