Kiss
Puke
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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