oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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