all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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