If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
