Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
