Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
