i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
