Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
