That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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