i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
