if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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