and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
