Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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