that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
