it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I AM VODKA MAN
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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