That's intense
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize