O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
