So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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