Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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