david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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