i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
