Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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