Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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