Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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