Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
