Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
