their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
