i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize