Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
