i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
