I'm drive I can fine osifer
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
