Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
