i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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