Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
