Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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